Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Rodney Parade for our penultimate Magners League match. Following our controversial recent loss to the Ospreys, we aim to provide an enthralling performance and thank the loyal supporters who journeyed west. We heard your voices and appreciate the continued, unwavering support.
Some people say to me “Don’t take life to seriously”. Others “Don’t take sport too seriously”. Sadly I believe “ Rugby is life” so basically I’m stuffed. So, as Mr Turner decided not to involve me in the game out in Dublin (another “bonding session” missed) I opted to try a different approach to life.
Firstly, as I am now officially middle aged I tried to drink twenty pints of Old Scrotum bitter over the weekend. I admit this was not pleasant.
Secondly I attended a “leg, bums and tums” class with some middle-aged women, followed by a line dancing class. This also was not pleasant.
Therefore I conclude this…Most supporters are right. Professional rugby is a walk in the park. Give me an 18 stone man running over the top of me daily please. I will now stop taking myself so seriously. I will try and enjoy life more too. Hence tonight I’ll be sporting a comedy afro wig for the game.
